The Rule of One (Queen Nikki Tales)

Queen Nikki

Another day has passed living with the Siberians. Today’s lesson is the “Rule of One.” This is a story that I should have written long ago but today seems to be the day.

Our Siberian People are very social, they enjoy living in a pack, but that doesn’t stop them from trying to rearrange the order of it. Picture a board room full of fresh new college recruits. Each one eyeing the other as their first real meeting begins.

They are constantly looking for an opening to assert themselves into a higher position with the boss, and company. They scribble notes, listen to each word anyone says in hopes of using it to their advantage. Scoffing inside when someone says what they perceive to be stupid.

To some degree this describes a pack of Siberians. They all want to be, “The One!”

If they cannot be “The One… of humans…well then, they must find a way to be The One of the Siberians!

In the old days before the Siberian People struck a deal with humans, it was as simple as the Tooth & Nail. Battles were fought to decide who would be the supreme leader of the pack. Those days have long past, but are not forgotten. For the hard wiring of DNA is not so easily tossed aside.

They can go to the Tooth & Nail if they have a weak human in command. And our job is to prevent that. If not a trip to “Club-Med” which is the “Vet” may be in your future.

The Siberians are a clever race. They observe and they learn. And once some idea gets into their heads… they will spend any amount of energy to achieve it.

They will escape by any means with feats equal to Steve McQueen in the movie “The Great Escape.” They will make fools of their jailers by using cunning, and sometimes unimaginable physical feats not thought possible.

Huskies are the equivalent of bored teenagers with the bodies and power of professional athletes, you must never consider yourself smarter than they are. For to do so, will leave you humbled and in awe. Sometimes so much so, that you can’t even be angry. You can only smile, and accept the fact that you were duped in some manner.

In my own observations of my pack, the recent trend to be the one, revolves around a marrow bone. This is the most highly prized treat my dogs have ever encountered. They love them, and will growl at each other like it is life and death. All of that in spite they snub all other forms of food designed for dogs. Most human food will trump the marrow bone but not by much.

I think for the most part… us humans, were raised in thinking things should be fair. Share your toys, equal the playing field for games, make rules so that everything is “Fair.”

This concept falls on deaf ears with the Siberians. They really don’t get it at all. It goes against the thousands of years of DNA that made them survive. To a Siberian, there is no such thing as “Fair.”

So, each morning when I let my people go. They go outside, and wait for the precious marrow bones to be distributed. They distinguish week days from weekends by my morning ritual.

When the alarm clock goes off at 4:30 AM I get up and turn it off. I say to them, “Time to go to work.” On the weekends this doesn’t happen of course, and they have learned that when I say “Work” I will be gone all day.

They also know that no amount of crying or fussing is going to change that. So, they wait for the treat I have. This payment is a tribute on my part.

Paying this tribute allows me to take a shower, get dressed, and have a cup of coffee in silence. I don’t have to run downstairs and outside to appease them. This works to keep my wife sleeping without being disturbed by my early morning hours.

Being fair-minded I give one to Nikki, and then Cooper, and they trot off as proud as if they had just killed a wildebeest. I take another up to Sammie who is waiting with just as much anticipation for hers. She just prefers her deck side penthouse in her old age. The young dogs have lost their appeal to her.

The weekend is a different matter entirely.

The marrow bones are kept frozen. It takes a while usually an hour before the dogs can eat that delicious marrow. Each one guards their prize and eyes the others intently.

You see the Siberians also have no problem with the concept of theft. They believe if you can steal it, you deserve to have it. Once again “Fair” does not enter into the equation at all.

Now Mr. Cooper being a gentle beast of large proportions, would be happy to enjoy his bone without the upstart Nikki constantly trying to steal it. It doesn’t matter to her that she already has one, the fact that he also has one cannot be tolerated!

Ms. Nikki lives the rule of one. She is “The One.” At least in her mind she is, and will do anything to remind all of that fact.

Somehow, she manages to steal Coopers bone from him. I’m not sure how she does it, but I soon hear the after effects of someone not happy.

Cooper will be whining and talking in “Roo-Roo” this is the native language of his people, Telling the world of his misfortune, and pain.

Being of fair mind, I go to help him. After all he is my child just as Nikki is, and I want them both to be happy.

I find Nikki with a bone in her mouth. Standing above the stolen bone and letting out this God Awful “ROOOoooodle!” whenever Cooper gets anywhere close.

Being very wise Cooper is afraid of the Queen, and he keeps his distance, and Roo-Roos his frustration of having been burglarized of his precious treat.

When the Queen sees me coming, she knows the tides will soon be turned. She stuffs her mouth with both bones and runs. Looking back at me and Cooper, she continues the call of the “ROOooodle!” Just to remind us that we are challenging the rule of one.

One time I found her guarding a pile of old chewie’s and a few bones. Now she will never confront me with Tooth & Claw but she is not happy about my interference in the Queens business.

In that case I took the pile of booty and threw them one by one, all around the yard. Very far as I have a huge yard.

Nikki looked at me with this face, “How could you do that?” shot from her eyes to mine. Then she ran to try and regroup her pile of stolen bones.

There was no way she could cover all that distance before Cooper snatched up one of the bones and high tailed it to safety. His precious bone clamped between his massive jaws with a force that would equal the “Jaws of life.”

To be safe, I’ve also thrown out 4 marrow bones at the same time. This befuddles the Queen, because she cannot fit them all into her mouth for safe keeping. So, the rule of one can be broken by us if we use the big brains we were given.

As smart as they are, the Siberian People can be out foxed at times. You just have to find their weakness, and use it against them.

“Is that fair?” You ask me.

No, but I’ve learned from the best.


“If you can laugh at it, you can live with it.”
~ Erma Bombeck

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